Pappa wants mamma naked
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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