bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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