Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
