I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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