the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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