This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
