sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
