LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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