That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
