Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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