I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
