i just wanna soil my oats bro
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
