How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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