See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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