Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
