Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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