I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You may now shotgun with the bride
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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