She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
