It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
