thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
