i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
