Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
