my mouth tastes like poor choices
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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