So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
