Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
