They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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