just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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