He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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