in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
