a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
