the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize