her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
