Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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