Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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