I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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