when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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