I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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