She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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