I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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