i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize