bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
