Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You dont lie about slip and slides
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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