This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
