How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
