Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
