He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize