You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
