he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
