Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
