dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
