just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
