The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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