update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
handjob tips. give me some.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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