It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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