kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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