You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Are we still banned from the library?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
