just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
