Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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