your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
