Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Hippo gnu deer
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
