is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
