I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
