You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
