omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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