So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
