he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
