maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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