hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
