lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
