Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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