so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
MIDGETS
????
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
