i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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