I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
