I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
